Kissing the air
I dream of kissing him but I know his lips have turned to ash. I remember the text he sent me one day as I sat at my desk in the office: ‘I’ve been trying to work out our kissing time,’ he wrote. ‘If we add up the mornings, evenings, lunchtimes and the middle of the night it comes to twenty three out of twenty four hours. How many people can claim that?’ We were prodigious kissers, passionate lovers. Kissing was like breathing, our lips joined at every opportunity. Kissing to say good morning, goodnight, I love you, hello. Kissing to convey happiness and sadness, reassurance and condolences. Kissing to say sorry; kissing because we were in each other’s company. Kisses landing on necks and earlobes, hips and the soles of our feet. Long languorous hours of kissing until our lips were tingling… To this very day I still go to sleep each night remembering the kissing. I wonder if he is lying in bed beside me, tenderly placing his ghosts kisses on my shoulder as I turn over and switch off the light.
Susannah…
This was such a lovely post and I know it must have been really difficult to write.
I just am certain that he is placing loads of ghostly kisses on you…
Susannah…
This was such a lovely post and I know it must have been really difficult to write.
I just am certain that he is placing loads of ghostly kisses on you…
Such achingly beautiful writing, sweetness. My heart aches for you and the love you lost.
x x x x x
Such achingly beautiful writing, sweetness. My heart aches for you and the love you lost.
x x x x x
oh hon, i have no words but how beautiful a memory of those kisses that you have shared with us …
xoxox
oh hon, i have no words but how beautiful a memory of those kisses that you have shared with us …
xoxox
That’s very beautiful.
That’s very beautiful.
Sigh … that took my breath away.
(now why does the code that I have to type in look like smut. That almost ruins it!)
Sigh … that took my breath away.
(now why does the code that I have to type in look like smut. That almost ruins it!)
That’s beautifully written.. and it made my heart ache. Hugs to you. xo
That’s beautifully written.. and it made my heart ache. Hugs to you. xo
Susannah,
How wonderful a piece you’ve written here. That you’ve can recall those kisses fondly and write about them so eloquently is significant! Less ache? more pleasure in remembering?
rel
Susannah,
How wonderful a piece you’ve written here. That you’ve can recall those kisses fondly and write about them so eloquently is significant! Less ache? more pleasure in remembering?
rel
I can’t think of a better description of the power of the kiss.
I can’t think of a better description of the power of the kiss.
My heart is aching for you. This is a beautiful piece, a bitter-sweet memory.
My heart is aching for you. This is a beautiful piece, a bitter-sweet memory.
A kiss is the purest form of energy…
This post was a kiss from you to him…he felt that I’m sure…
a deep well of kisses…that’s what you are…
Luxie
this is so incredibly…there is no word to describe this. from the first line i could feel my heart splitting open, and it only got more beautiful and poignant from there.
(GIGANTIC SUSANNAH HUG HERE)
this is so incredibly…there is no word to describe this. from the first line i could feel my heart splitting open, and it only got more beautiful and poignant from there.
(GIGANTIC SUSANNAH HUG HERE)
this gave me chills and tears all at once.
ghost kisses. mmmmm. i heard you so closely here.
love you so much,
monkey
this gave me chills and tears all at once.
ghost kisses. mmmmm. i heard you so closely here.
love you so much,
monkey
There are probably words that would adequately describe how beautiful this piece is but I am not in possession of them. I feel like you’ve plucked the dream of a perfect relationship out of my mind and painted it upon your canvas. You are so blessed to have experienced love like this and, once again, I thank you for sharing with us such personal & glorious memories. Namaste.
There are probably words that would adequately describe how beautiful this piece is but I am not in possession of them. I feel like you’ve plucked the dream of a perfect relationship out of my mind and painted it upon your canvas. You are so blessed to have experienced love like this and, once again, I thank you for sharing with us such personal & glorious memories. Namaste.
That’s so beautiful. I think he must give you ghost kisses. I don’t see how he could not.
That’s so beautiful. I think he must give you ghost kisses. I don’t see how he could not.
You are a wonder with words, Susannah…you should never doubt this–you really are. Such a personal and bittersweet reflection. I admire you for it…
Love,
–D.–
You are a wonder with words, Susannah…you should never doubt this–you really are. Such a personal and bittersweet reflection. I admire you for it…
Love,
–D.–
achingly beautiful and
love-ly.
truly.
(hugs)
achingly beautiful and
love-ly.
truly.
(hugs)
This is just…touching, and romantic, and sad, and sweet…Perfect.
How lucky you were to have had such a passionate love relationship, Sus. I am sure that passion like that lives on, like you wonder here. It reminds me of the movie, Always… I wonder if he is working to bring you a worthy man? Because you are so worthy of more kisses and love, beautiful Susannah.
:)
This is just…touching, and romantic, and sad, and sweet…Perfect.
How lucky you were to have had such a passionate love relationship, Sus. I am sure that passion like that lives on, like you wonder here. It reminds me of the movie, Always… I wonder if he is working to bring you a worthy man? Because you are so worthy of more kisses and love, beautiful Susannah.
:)
Aww
Aww
Aww
I love the way you write sweety, so powerful…
xoxoxoxo
Aww
Aww
Aww
I love the way you write sweety, so powerful…
xoxoxoxo
This is hauntingly beautiful. I literally felt chills while reading it. And I too believe that you are still given those kisses…those ghost kisses. My words can not do this justice, but I thank you so much for sharing it with us. I believe your prose could move mountains.
xoxoxoxoxo
This is hauntingly beautiful. I literally felt chills while reading it. And I too believe that you are still given those kisses…those ghost kisses. My words can not do this justice, but I thank you so much for sharing it with us. I believe your prose could move mountains.
xoxoxoxoxo
beautiful and full of ache. that last thought…i am sitting here crying with you…
hugging you.
beautiful and full of ache. that last thought…i am sitting here crying with you…
hugging you.
Oh my, such a tender image. Tears, lovely, so many tears…
I love you…
Oh my, such a tender image. Tears, lovely, so many tears…
I love you…
These words all blend together so beautifully in to one: love
Thank you for sharing this.
These words all blend together so beautifully in to one: love
Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for sharing this.
Tears, Tears and more tears flowed today.
Big hugs to you,
Love Toni
Thank you for sharing this.
Tears, Tears and more tears flowed today.
Big hugs to you,
Love Toni
I believe in the spirit world very much. This was a gorgeous tribute to your love and a way to honor the memory of your love. xo
I believe in the spirit world very much. This was a gorgeous tribute to your love and a way to honor the memory of your love. xo
S.-
Most people spend a lifetime searching and yearning for the kind of love and passion you two shared. My heart aches for you.
D.
I think he is darling, I think he is…….
I think he is darling, I think he is…….
To beautiful but I had to add with no words at all except……… Thankyou x
To beautiful but I had to add with no words at all except……… Thankyou x
Beautiful, bittersweet post, dear Susannah. By the way, tried several times today to leave a comment, but Blogger was down and out.
Beautiful, bittersweet post, dear Susannah. By the way, tried several times today to leave a comment, but Blogger was down and out.
Such loving words and loving memories.
Such loving words and loving memories.
this is such a lovely, sensuous post. thank you for sharing, love. it makes me ache in sadness for you and your loss. keep remembering; this helps you heal.
xo
this is such a lovely, sensuous post. thank you for sharing, love. it makes me ache in sadness for you and your loss. keep remembering; this helps you heal.
xo
Beuatifully sad and moving. Of course he’s giving you ghost kisses.
Beuatifully sad and moving. Of course he’s giving you ghost kisses.
What precious, sensuous memories.
What precious, sensuous memories.
You are capable of creating such a lush sensuality that it almost feels like I am reading something I should not be reading, the intimacy…
…what an amazing love you shared.
You are capable of creating such a lush sensuality that it almost feels like I am reading something I should not be reading, the intimacy…
…what an amazing love you shared.
You guys were so beautiful together. XXOO
You guys were so beautiful together. XXOO
Beautiful memories … what passion, I hope it finds its way to you again dear Sus (and I’m sure it will…)
xo, d
Beautiful memories … what passion, I hope it finds its way to you again dear Sus (and I’m sure it will…)
xo, d
i cannot imagine such a thing–in my dreams or my waking life–being married to someone who finds kissing overrated. (i try not to take it personally.)
the fact that you have known such a love can only mean you are destined for this quality of kindness as your lowest possible denominator in the love of your future.
my mother used to say (from the perspective of being a hospice nurse) that the people who went on to be happily re-married were the ones who had known great love in their first marriages. “They are the ones who aren’t afraid,” she’d tell me. “Their hearts are already open and ready because they were loved so well.”
I hope it’s true for you, dear girl. I need to write you a special kissing blessing.
xo
i cannot imagine such a thing–in my dreams or my waking life–being married to someone who finds kissing overrated. (i try not to take it personally.)
the fact that you have known such a love can only mean you are destined for this quality of kindness as your lowest possible denominator in the love of your future.
my mother used to say (from the perspective of being a hospice nurse) that the people who went on to be happily re-married were the ones who had known great love in their first marriages. “They are the ones who aren’t afraid,” she’d tell me. “Their hearts are already open and ready because they were loved so well.”
I hope it’s true for you, dear girl. I need to write you a special kissing blessing.
xo
Hi Susannah,
Aching, gnawing pain written so beautifully, is a gift. Your blog is a treasure I have bookmarked. I’ve read several other posts, but no time to comment now on them other than the general one above.
I wish the inspiration for this piece was not the death of your beloved. ((((Susannah)))) with condolences. I hope your writing gift will help ease the pain an loss; it sounds so utterly raw right now.
As for kissing, yes, yes, so lovely. I wrote a (humorous) post recently about our anniversary entitled “Kisses Sweeter than Wine.” I can’t truly imagine him gone, but yet I can. That is nothing at all like your grieving. My heart somersaults with nausea at the thought. I ache for you and feel helpless. Thank you for lovely glimpses into your intmate kissing connections.
Hi Susannah,
Aching, gnawing pain written so beautifully, is a gift. Your blog is a treasure I have bookmarked. I’ve read several other posts, but no time to comment now on them other than the general one above.
I wish the inspiration for this piece was not the death of your beloved. ((((Susannah)))) with condolences. I hope your writing gift will help ease the pain an loss; it sounds so utterly raw right now.
As for kissing, yes, yes, so lovely. I wrote a (humorous) post recently about our anniversary entitled “Kisses Sweeter than Wine.” I can’t truly imagine him gone, but yet I can. That is nothing at all like your grieving. My heart somersaults with nausea at the thought. I ache for you and feel helpless. Thank you for lovely glimpses into your intmate kissing connections.
ghost kisses. amazing. your words are so beautiful. i am so sorry for your loss.