July, 2007
Pattern from the past
I have a photograph of my mother wearing this Marks & Spencer nightie. It was taken in 1975; she is sitting up in bed with a baby in her arms, and a blonde-haired girl is under the covers beside her, kissing the baby’s forehead.
The little girl is me, aged two.
I don’t know if the pattern of this garment is familiar to me because of the photograph or because of my memories, but I do know that this flimsy day-glo nightie hangs on a hook on the back of my bedroom door, where it often catches my eye. I do know that it is very special to me.
For more self portraits and stories, go here.
July, 2007
Tagged
I’ve been tagged twice to reveal eight bits of me that you don’t know already… so here goes.
1. I don’t have a driver’s license. I cannot tell you what a pain this is, now that I live where I do. In London it wasn’t an issue as the tube and taxis meant I could get wherever I needed to, and as I lived in Bayswater I had everything to hand, shops-wise. I’ve learnt to drive twice – first time was in my early 20s, and I failed my test and ran out of money to continue with the lessons. Second time was three years, so you can probably guess what happened forcing the lessons to come to an end again. It’s on my list of things to accomplish, along with ‘get book published’ and ‘go to New York’.
2. I really want to go to New York. It’s a place I have dreamed about visiting for years, ever since I first watched Desperately Seeking Susan when I was 13. I know it will feel like home, which scares me a little as I know I won’t want to leave. I also have some bloggie friends that I’m dying to meet there.
3. I have slight OCD tendencies. I’m extremely precise about certain things, such as how the dishes are washed (rinse ALL SOAP off!) and where things in my house should live. It’s not debilitating, but it does mean I have a very orderly home (and am a nightmare to live with). One of my favourite things to do on a rainy Sunday afternoon is sort through my cupboards and wardrobes and have a big clear out. I hate clutter. (Of course it’s getting to the stage now where there’s not much left to clear out).
4. I loathe the monarchy, and in particular all their hangers-on – the royal watchers and sycophants – and the aristocracy in general. The concept of ‘high society’ makes my blood boil. Yet for some unfathomable reason, I buy Tatler magazine each month to find out what they are all up to. I don’t understand why I do this.
5. I wish I was taller. I’m already 5’ 9” and I love my height, but I love it even more when I wear heels and tower above everyone else. I like being able to look men in the eye :). Unfortunately I can’t wear heels for longer than half an hour as I have ridiculously soft skin on my feet that blisters easily, and ridiculously long toes that cramp. My feet are the bane of my life, broken toes and all…
6. Like so many of my girlfriends, I am a sci-fi geek. One of my most favourite films is Bladerunner, and I love any film, book or TV series of that genre that turns my brain inside out.
7. When I was a fashion editor I had to go to all the shows at London Fashion Week. Sometimes I’d score a seat on the front row and would look at all the other people there and feel completely out of place. They all took it so seriously, and many had an over-inflated view of their own importance. Needless to say, I got out of that world as soon as I could.
8. I wear reading glasses all day every day. About six months after he died I was experiencing really bad headaches, brought on (I thought) by crying/shock/too much wine. My doctor sent me to an optician, who told me I needed glasses for reading. As I spent most of my days reading as a way to escape the world, the headaches disappeared soon after. I don’t wear them when I take photographs though.
* Bonus factoid: I have been to Italy about 20 times, yet only ever to one place. My ex was Italian and during our 10 year relationship we had to go visit la famiglia… a lot.
I’m now tagging Thea, Maryam, BB, Frida, Maddie, Amber, Vanessa and Uncle Rel
July, 2007
SPC ~ a first attempt
I’ve had it in my mind to start contributing to the Self Portrait Challenge group for a while, and wouldn’t you know it – I prepare some shots, only to discover that what I thought was the theme (environment) has been replaced by a new one (elements). I’ll try and do better for next week, but in the meantime, here is my first contribution: me, at home, in my working environment, with a guest appearance from the broken toe, which as you can see, appears to be doing okay. This is a bit of trickery by my foot, however, as the toenail is only attached on one side, and will fall off any day now…. yeah, i can’t wait either.
July, 2007
Thoughts on a rainy day
{set of 3 flower photos, now available in my Etsy store}
You know what? If I could give away photographs for free every day I would. I mean, of course I know I could, but then there’s all that food to buy and rent to pay… It’s so much easier to go to work and be paid by the salary fairies each month – being self-employed is another game altogether. As a journalist i didn’t have too much of a problem chasing invoices at the end of each month, but this new role as a photographer has shifted my relationsip with what I’m worth. It’s not easy asking a person to give you some of their hard-earned cash in exchange for something you’ve created – especially something artistic. How much is my work worth? How much am I worth? It’s all too tempting to set our prices low, to accept less than we deserve, and I’m not just talking about pounds and dollars here.
All I’ve ever wanted was to do work that I believed in, and I find myself getting closer to that goal every day. Now it’s time to start believing that – to coin a phrase – I’m worth it, and so is my work.
