Back from the future
From the moment we arrived, I knew I was home. So many new possibilities have opened up to me, I’m exhilarated, and terrified too. I’ve come home only to slump in my chair and wonder how I’m going to make this happen. But now that I have a direction to head in, the horizon seems so much closer. Closer than it has been in over three years. More soon, when I’ve pulled myself together.
Inspiration #1
1. Parentes., 2. free fall, 3. Pinch, 4. Untitled
Even when surrounded by piles of used tissues and feeling most definitely not my best self, photographs still make my brain explode like a box of fireworks. I love these faceless portraits so much.
Summer solstice
Today is the longest day of the year, or it might be tomorrow – the experts are divided due to it being a leap year. Unfortunately it's raining and most likely will be in the morning, so the druids at Stonehenge will have a rather damp celebration. I look at this photograph I took last year in California and I ache to be there on that beach, basking in the sunshine. The sun will be back here in a few days i've no doubt, but today it's raining. And I have tonsillitis. Again. I've spent the last 48 hours holed up on my sofa with a blanket around me as i consume a steady stream of hot chocolate and throat pastilles. It's been awful not being able to go to the gym, and for once in my life i say that with all sincerity. Tomorrow it will be five weeks since i smoked my last cigarette – the longest stint without smoking in 15 years. There's been a lot of change happening for my body, so i'm not beating it up too much about being ill, although i'm not thrilled about it. I feel like I am wasting time… it's hard to have a break in the momentum.
At the end of next week I am off to stay with my sister for a few nights. She lives very close to the city I am hoping to move to in the next few months. It's time to move, and even though it's going to be hard for so many different reasons, I feel ready to do it, i really do. Ready to take this new step forward. So for now I'm going to hunker down with a giant bowl of pasta, an even bigger box of tissues and Season Three of the L Word – I've got to be well for next week, for I hope I might just be walking down the streets that i'll be calling home very soon.
Five (really) good things
1. My new keyboard. No-more-of-this-rubbish!
2. The three glossy magazines, one new novel and bucket-sized mug of hot chocolate waiting for me on my coffee table.
3. Two more discs of The Riches to watch this weekend (a couple of days of nesting and resting for me as i've been under the weather). Eddie Izzard looks so damn handsome when he leaves his leather mini skirts and stilettos in the wardrobe.
4. Getting some unexpected press for my Unravelling store this week. First, a mention in Wednesday's Etsy Spotlight….
5. … and then a really lovely review from Holly at Decor8. Holly has such great taste and I've found so many fab artists and stores through her recommendations, so I'm extra thrilled to be featured today. Thanks Holly!
Patience
My-new-keyboard-hasn't-arrived-yet
I-can't-believe-I've-lasted-this-long-without-jumping-out-the-window
It's-been-quite-nice-not-being-able-to-email,-though—-
it's-freed-up-time-for-other-pursuits
I-could-get-used-to-it,-this-new-space-for-thoughts-and-planning
So-until-normal-programming-resumes,-i-wanted-to-share-two-more-shots-
from-a-recent-shoot-
Really-proud-of-these…:-)
I-love-it-when-what-i-imagined-in-my-head-becomes-a-reality-
through-my-camera-lens-and-monitor
More-soon
Spaces
Today-feels-like-the-first-true-day-of-summer
the-breeze-is-so-warm-it's-like-a-caress
sigh
i-miss-being-in-love
sundays-always-make-me-a-little-sad
so-I-ate-an-ice-cream-for-lunch
my-space-bar-is-broken
(quite-possibly-the-most-important-key-on-the-keyboard)
and-so-it-goes
Now I understand
So today is a regular Tuesday – K and I go to the gym in the morning for an hour before doing an aqua aerobics class (another hour of exercise). So, that makes TWO hours of exercise. Non-stop moving and sweating, on the treadmill and cross-trainer and lifting weights and doing crunches, and then jumping around the pool. Gluttons for punishment that we are, we do this on Thursdays too (Monday and Wednesday are 'just' the gym). It's got to the point where I'm thinking about exercise even when I'm not there – I bought some weights to use at home and have been religiously doing my crunches in the morning (I know – every time i tell a friend who's known me for years it takes her about 20 minutes to stop hyperventilating from shock).
Anyway, I'm telling you all this because this morning, one hour and 15 minutes into the madness, i finally experienced the exercise high that fitness fanatics talk about. I was in the pool, we were jumping up and down, the music was loud, my legs seemed to to become weightless, despite the fatigue that should have been kicking in from an hour already spent on the machines – and i felt euphoric for five whole minutes. It was as if i had white light shooting out of the top of my head. Now i understand why people get obsessed with exercise, not just for the high i felt, but also to have your body working properly – it really is addictive. I've read about this, i've been told about this, but gosh, it's really something else to get off your slovenly ass and actually do it. In true best friend-style, i feel really proud of myself.
The high was similar to how i felt the first time i heard this piece of amazingly uplifting music (play it LOUD, and watch the video here too). I've always been something of a sybarite – sex, wine, cigarettes, good food, perfumes, body creams, music, i love it all – but now, at last, I'm replacing cigarettes with exercise.
Today it is good to be alive. I'm going to try to hold on to this feeling, and store it away for those rainy days.
Feather by feather
There are some things that you can’t, and shouldn’t, rush. Like really expensive bottles of wine, or clotted cream rice pudding, or grief. Better to savour the tastes, and learn the lessons, and regrow your shimmering new wings feather by feather. And that’s exactly what I have been doing with my photography, taking my time over each shot, developing my vision and style, burnishing the paper and working out exactly what it is I am trying to say. I wanted to come to this space and share some of my recent pieces as I’ve relaunched my Etsy store and am enjoying filling the shelves with work I am proud of. The postcards I’d ordered arrived this week and i’m digging them so much – I love sending and receiving cards in the mail, so having some with my own photographs on them is thrilling my geeky stationery-loving side.
I know i have a few readers left out there (hi guys!), despite me being such a lousy blogger these days, so just to let you know that if you see anything you like, if you mention this (tired and abandoned) blog when checking out on Etsy, I’ll include a free set of postcards with your print – just to say thank you for, you know, hanging in there with me :-)
