The blogging planets are obviously in alignment, because I've been asked to write an article about my experience of blogging, and the day i come to my computer to write it, i read this post and this one, and now i want to add my penny to the pot, for whatever it's worth. First, the comment I left on Christine's thought-provoking post:

When i started blogging i had no idea where it would take me; in a way i was joining a ready-made community, but also simply using it as a platform to share my words and poetry, and talk a little about the grief i was going through. As the readership grew, so did the support, that is something i will always be so grateful for. the more bloggers i met in real life, the more i could see how blogging has the potential to connect us all; to help us feel less alone, to share the human-ness of it all.

these days i blog about my journey, such as it is, to continue the conversation with those souls who've followed me along the healing path. i have days when i wonder why i still blog, but then i'll get an email from someone thanking me for being so honest about my struggles, and i feel so humble, and glad that i can share what i've learned, even if only in a small way.

i don't care about stats, and while i value every comment i receive, i don't hang out hoping for them to arrive. i think like anything that involves human interaction, blogging can carry a lot of expectations with it, and certainly there is the potential for emotions to get involved. the issue of popularity gets mentioned a lot in the blog-airwaves, and while it's not something i've ever strived for, i can see how people can feel excluded when the blogosphere starts to resemble an exclusive club. It's easy to link to friends and bloggers and share photos, and after a while it turns into a show-and-tell of who's in your address book – geez, i've done it myself :-) i wrote a post a while back about how a blog can be (and is often) the PR version of a person's life – the edited highlights, the best bits, the stuff they're proud of, and it's good to celebrate the positives, and look on the bright side. But i was also aware of how i had a tendency to use the blog world as a stick to beat myself with, finding myself lacking when compared to the good fortune of others. Obviously none of this was particularly conscious, but i did find that when i cut down my blog reading, i got so much more done, and felt able to focus on *my* path, rather than get sucked into the energy drain that blogging can be.

Okay, i'm realising that there is a lot more i could write about this so i might post this comment on my blog too – bloggers blogging about blogging is surely blogging squared?

I have times when i want to take this blog down, to make myself less visible when i'm feeling overexposed in my off-line life, or because i find i have an issue with having so much of my dirty/clean laundry hanging around on the internet. Other times i wish my blog wasn't a 'personal blog', that it was one focussed solely on photography and art, that shared the things/artists i find inspiring, as those are the blogs i tend to read most these days. I try to mix the two, but i'm not sure if it works, and being the perfectionist that i am, i want the blog to 'work', whatever that really means. I pay attention to how the blog looks, as aesthetics are important to me in anything that i do. i like being able to share my photographs. And even though i stumble with the personal blogging aspect, it is because of this place that i felt able to dream up a workshop to share with the world, one that is 25% photography and 75% self help/inspiration. Because that's what this blog has been, and continues to be, for me.

As for the blogging world, i'm not feeling very connected to it these days. When i first started blogging i spent a lot of time leaving comments on posts, connecting with people and joining in community projects; those were the halcyon days of Poetry Thursday and Sunday Scribblings, when the solitary nature of my days was lessened by my busy online interactions. It makes sense that the reverse is now true, now that i'm through my period of grieving and living a life again. Blogging relationships grow and fade; i'm careful not to be swayed by the PR versions too much (though that still happens – i'm only human). Having said all that, what i have always loved most about blogs is the fact that it shows that we are all the same. You read magazines and books and have this expectation that they carry authority – your school books contained facts that you weren't supposed to argue with. But the vast majority of blogs are written by people just like me – people working to pay their mortgage and bring up their kids the best they can and maintain good relationships with the people they love and find their place on this planet that fits who they are inside. Happy, sad, depressed, confused, excited, envious, lustful, loving, scared, joyful, lost and found souls. We're all doing our best, and some of us write a few words about it and put it on the internet. Not to be judged, just to share.

I guess what i'm trying to say is this: blogging helped me when i was screwed up. I made a lot of good friends. I still want to blog, though i don't always know why. I hope that what i share is valuable in some ways, but most of all it just feels good to put it out there. I'm always respectful to other people and i hope they will continue to be with me (i'd never leave an 'anon' comment, for example. if i have something to say, good or bad, i leave my name). If this blog bores or irritates you, please feel free to stop reading :-)

I've been rereading The Four Agreements, and my god, it's such a wise little book. They can be applied to the scary world of dating, to blogging… to everything you do, actually:

Be impeccable with your word

Don't take anything personally

Don't make assumptions

Always do your best.

Och, it's just life really, isn't it. What do you think?