I've been musing on what to write about for my last post of the year but i'm finding it hard to look backwards because my head and heart are so firmly focussed on the year in front of me. I'm really happy to let go of 2008; it's been a year that's tested me and unravelled my emotions, with depression and health issues dogging me more than i'd have liked, yet even though i'm spending the last day with blocked sinuses and a killer headache, i can see how much stronger I am than i was this time last year. In the last 12 months I've embarked on a brief love affair, moved my entire life to a new city where I knew no one and started teaching a course that feels like it's going to go somewhere special. I gave up smoking (twice – i'm on three weeks and counting). I joined a gym and reconnected with my body. I fell back in love with film thanks to my delightful vintage cameras. And i met one of my comedy heroes! Not too shabby for 365 days.
2008 was all about being brave and looking back I think i've honoured that word; this year it's going to be about being visible, about putting myself out there – my art, my words, my heart. No more hiding away, no more fear of rejection or failure, no more excuses. I look forward now more than I look back; I want to enjoy the quiet calm of living in the moment while keeping my heart open for the love that I wish for in my life. And for that love and success and abundance to find me I have to be visible, i have to be seen.
So, no more hiding. A lot more going out, being out, living OUT LOUD.
What's your word for 2009?