The tiny guru

Unless Zeus himself flies down on a moonbeam into my bedroom it’s pretty unlikely this will be turning into a mommy blog any time soon, but i hope you will forgive me if i keep talking about Mr Wobble Head. If you’d been in the centre of Bath yesterday afternoon you would have witnessed me having a TOTAL love melt-down in the middle of the street as i tried in vain to say goodbye to him. I just couldn’t let him go as i sniffed and kissed his little head, the little shrimp sleeping all snuggled up in my arms. And then the tears came. My bruised heart was exploding in my chest, woken up by the tiny guru who came from my sister. I think he’s here to teach me how to love again…

And I knew i’d love him – i remember how much i loved my godchildren when they were little. I knew i’d feel protective of him – he’s family after all. But i honestly didn’t expect to fall in love with him to the point of the near-hysteria I felt yesterday.  i didn’t expect the love to be so animal, so tribal. Steve, aka Papa Bear, quipped yesterday that he loved his son so much he almost wanted to throw him against a wall, his way of expressing how powerful and physical his love is – and i feel the same. It’s the crazy love you feel inside, yet you cradle the baby so gently and carefully… all the while wanting to eat him all up with a spoon :)

After treating Noah to his first lunch at Jamie’s yesterday, the four of us dawdled through Bath giving off some powerful love vibes, evidenced by the number of people who stopped us in the street to coo over his insane cuteness. After we said goodbye i just didn’t know what to do with myself; i had full-on auntie brain and tried to return a dress i’d bought to the wrong shop (cue much embarrassment at the cash desk as the sales girl looked at me thinking i’m mad). Finally got home and moped around the flat – the baby high come-down is hard. I’m now seriously considering living in a tent in my sister’s garden, just to be close to the little man…