There’s definitely something to this choosing-a-word-for-your-year thing. For 2009 I choose visible, and put myself out onto the internet more than i’d ever done before. In 2010 I chose expand, and all areas of my life seemed to get bigger as I moved through the year. Last year’s word was compassion, and while I probably haven’t shown myself as much compassion as I could have, I still find myself on the last day of the year with a bigger heart and better appreciation of the souls that share my world.
My word for 2012 came to me about a month ago, as I surveyed everything I have to do in the new year and began to feel the pressure…
It’s time to find my BRAVE.
Teaching in person scares me. Going on a book tour scares me. Publishing a book that shares my heart scares the crap out of me. I will be doing all of these things in 2012, so it’s time to woman-up, grow some bigger ovaries and be BRAVE. To embrace these opportunities as exactly that — opportunities for growth, expansion and FUN. I’m also going to be getting on a lot of planes during the next 12 months — luckily I love flying — so this really will be my year of outward movement. After so much introspective writing and editing in 2011, I’m being asked to go back out into the world. And as I joked with some friends recently, I’m going to be leaving my comfort zone so many times in 2012 i may as well just move out of it permanently.
And there’s another area of my life that will require a dose of bravery next year. I have danced around the issue of finding love so many times on this blog. So many quiet declarations have been hinted at, that I was ready, that the time was right, that I wanted to find an uncle for Noah ;) And yet here I am, a few weeks away from the 7th anniversary of his death, still single. I mention the anniversary because I still reverently follow the timeline of renewal and rebirth that has been my life since everything changed in 2005, but I’m no longer held hostage to the memory of what we had. Instead, I have blossomed into a self-aware, emotionally-healed, independent woman who takes enormous pleasure in being able to look after herself ROOOOAAAARRRRRR! The creation of my business, and in turn being able to do work that means so freaking much to me, has been so unexpectedly healing on so many levels, and not just the obvious ones.
I don’t begrudge a single second of all this time on my own as it’s been the most amazing adventure. Now I’m ready to have some new adventures with a partner-in-crime.
Let the year of dating and book tours commence!
WHAT’S YOUR WORD FOR 2012?