Monday is my one-year anniversary of living in Bath; i'll be in London on the actual day but i know i'll be looking forward to getting back to my little flat and cosying in with my metaphorical pipe 'n' slippers. This place really has become my home, both the city with its friendly taxi drivers and extraordinary refuse problem, and this flat with its tired carpet and insect flatmates (seriously – just call me Susannah Doolittle). I feel settled here, i feel held and supported. My dreams are beginning to flourish, and i know that it was my leap last year that has made it all possible. I hoped for more, for a bigger life, but i didn't expect of all this… I truly hope that this is just the beginning. I'm feeling more able to make space in my inner cupboards now, so there's room for a partner-in-crime in my world… i think it could be fun. I'm ready for some fun.
There's other stuff I was going to write about today but i can't get past my thoughts for Natasha Richardson's family. She and Liam Neeson were one of those Hollywood couples you could genuinely like as their marriage seemed to be solid and they weren't too flashy; perhaps his working-class Irish background grounded her acting dynasty roots. I can think of a few films I've seen her act in, and though she wasn't particularly on my celebrity radar I'm always a little intrigued by English actresses who do well in the States – maybe you hope it'll rub off on you, somehow – the girl done good, as we'd say.
I'm sitting here at my computer on what is turning out to be another gloriously sunny day and i find i am in tears. I've always had a keen ability to empathise, and when something like
this happens this goes into overdrive and i'm transported back to my own
experience of devastating loss; the numbing shock, like ice water in your veins; the suddenness of it all; the absolute horror of the silent moment when you realise that they are gone, and how you experience this over and over and over again, for days and weeks and months. My heart aches for how her family are feeling right now.
It's common to hear trite comments about how we must hug those we love close to us in the face of such a loss, and yes, that is true and we should do that, but more than ever today i just want to take a gigantic bite out of life and devour it, greedily, messily, completely. If it was my photo on the obituaries page, i'd want the words below it to paint a picture of a life lived to the max, a life that touched others, a life that made a difference.
So today i honour Natasha Richardson; I hope she devoured her life, every thrilling glorious moment of it.