Something for the weekend

The Saturday chaos of Portobello Market | SusannahConway.com

 

Happily addicted to the internet — loved this from Sara. I feel the same, though I have turned off ALL notifications I possibly can. The only time my phone makes noise is when someone actually calls me. Text messages are silent and I don’t get any social media notifications — ever. #sanitykeeper

Unraveling Her Heart — really enjoyed doing this biz Q&A for Annapurna Living

[podcast] Happiness for people who can’t stand positive thinking

Obsessed with the work of Julien Pacaud

11 awkward things about email

Stop telling me I should have kids

Two new decks worth checking out: Starlight Dragon Tarot | Awakened Soul Oracle Deck (Daily Guidance registration opens next week and I’m already thinking about new decks #happilyaddicted)

Related: Tarot Deck solid perfume (!!)

A better way of perceiving FOMO (fear of missing out)

[video] Prince performs Purple Rain during a downpour at the Super Bowl (Madonna, Prince, Duran Duran and Wham were the soundtrack of my teenage)

Happy weekend, loves xo

Comments (1)

Dear Shadows

Dear Shadows | SusannahConway.com

 

Dear Shadows

For a long time I thought you were bad, something to be gotten rid of. I thought I had to push you away and disown you. That if I admitted you were within me, even for a second, I would somehow fail the Good Person test. Yet you were like a little dog nipping at my heels, and when everything fell apart so spectacularly there was nowhere I could hide from you. Everything WAS you. My life became shadow and we danced until our feet bled.

That’s when I understood.

Without the dark there can be no light. We need the contrast, the yin and the yang. We grow in the darkness of the womb and are reborn each and every night. I learned there were riches to be found in my shadows, once my eyes got used to the dark. Our shadows show us where we were hurt in the past and what needs healing. They remind us that we’re only human (and what a hilariously messed up blessing that is). Pushing our shadows away doesn’t make them disappear — they only way to “get rid of” our shadows is to accept and embrace them. The shadowy parts of my Self do not define me — my regrets and disappointments and spiky thoughts are not all there is of me — but they ARE a part of me. When we can embrace our shadows like we embrace our light we truly become whole.

So, my smoky-fingered friends, I promise I will not push you away. I will continue to dance with you because you always have so much to teach me. Thank you for showing me how to be truly vulnerable.

With love and gratitude

Susannah xo

 

April Love 2016 | SusannahConway.com

 

For the April Love 2016 prompt: Dear Shadows

You can still sign up to get the prompt emails over here

Dear younger me

Dear younger me | SusannahConway.com

 

Dear 6-year-old me

I wish I could remember being you. I watch my nephew and I see his bravery and exuberance and I wonder: was I like that? I’m not sure if I was.

 

Dear 11-year-old me

For a long time I was ashamed of you, which is ridiculous — you were so vulnerable and scared. But I see that your vulnerability lives on in me, and it took a long time to realise that when I shunned you, I shunned the tenderest parts of myself. You had to grow up so fast and didn’t have the skills that that required. I truly wish I could go back in time and wrap you up in my arms and kiss your forehead. I try to do this for myself now. I try very hard, and I do it for you.

 

Dear 20-year-old me

Oh my love, what a screwed up hot mess you were, and I love how, despite that, you forged ahead with what you wanted. You knew, even back then, where you were supposed to be heading. We couldn’t have predicted what actually went down, which is probably just as well as you were in no way ready to be that person, but thanks for following the urge to go to art college. Thanks for being your tie-dyed, whisky-drinking, tarot-card-toting self. There was so much to be healed, but there would be time for that later. I’m glad we had all those years in the darkroom. I’m glad we found our creative calling, even if it did have a few twists and turns before we found our place.

 

Dear younger me | SusannahConway.com

 

Dear 30-year-old me

Susannah, Susannah, Susannah. Thank you for being brave enough to leave him, even if it did take six months of red wine and endless talks. That year was brutal, and the years that followed didn’t get any better did they. It wasn’t the start to our 30s I would have chosen, but now I look back I recognise the threads that wove the path we stepped on the day we sent that email. And then a fire burnt down our life at 32 — we had no control over that. Somehow — I’m still not sure how — we survived, and more than that, we thrived. I’m so proud of you for healing all that you did. It was a cellular regeneration, my love, and I feel it to this very day. We regrew our skin. We were born again, stronger, braver, and so incredibly tender I now cry at the smallest thing. There is no barrier between my emotions and the world, and it is my superpower. Thank you for birthing it for me.

 

Dear 40-year-old me

You were right. I’m three years in and I can authoritatively report that our 40s are just as empowering as you felt they were the day we turned 40. There are a few things we’re probably not going to experience in this lifetime, and I know you were still hoping they would happen, but I don’t think they will. The more steps I take through this decade of our life, the clearer the path becomes. I’m processing some sadness about this, I won’t lie — but I also have this new clarity that’s propelling me forward towards other possibilities, pieces of the puzzle I hadn’t seen when I was you. I hear my future self calling me, and she is smiling. She is happy. I’m on my way to meet her right now.

 

To all my younger selves: thank you. I love you bigger than the moon and the stars.

Me xo

 

April Love 2016 | SusannahConway.com

 

For the April Love 2016 prompt: Dear younger me

You can still sign up to get the prompt emails over here

Something for the weekend

Susannah Conway in the May 2016 issue of Psychologies magazine | SusannahConway.com

 

Fun seeing my mug in a mag this month! (Psychologies May 2016 issue)

[podcast] Ellen Burstyn’s lessons on survival

How solitude can change your brain in profound ways

Marrakech’s real mint tea

[video] This brings back sweet sweet memories

Spring celebration salad | crispy curried salmon + basil coconut rice | gluten-free banana bread with salted caramel

Why is tarot crazy popular all of a sudden?

[podcast] Emily Greener — Becoming a leader for young girls

10 famous authors on the importance of keeping a journal

The internet is not real life — appreciated this post from Lisa

I love all of these spaces

Finally, you can sign up for the April Love emails any time this month — I’ll be putting together an ebook of everything at the end so you’ll be able to dive into any prompts you missed :-)

Happy weekend, loves! xo