Old London town

So the plan is to move back to London at the end of July. It’s a plan that’s been percolating since the end of last year, when I realised that as much as I wanted to try a few months in San Francisco (this dream remains on the back burner) I needed to start closer to home, and for me that meant London. Dirty grimy noisy beautiful London.

This is the final part of the healing cycle, and hoo boy, do I know it. While I feel confident this is exactly the right move for me to make, there is some fear anticipation floating up from inside my heart. I’ve been having dreams about you know who that leave me upside down in the morning, proving that while i may be calm during the day, there is definitely some stuff happening behind the scenes.

I left London due to the worst reason possible – the loss of a loved one. I’ve chronicled my loss over and over on this blog, and now here i am, five years and three months later, finally ready to go back to the city I love. There was a point back in 2007 when i thought i was ready, but I wasn’t. Then in 2008 I came here to Bath, and kick-started a whirlwind of work and path-finding that i hadn’t expected and am so grateful for words just don’t do it justice. I found ME, and I picked up a thread that is now leading me into the future. The move to Bath was a massive leap of faith, but something inside me knew it was the right thing to do, even though I knew no one here and had never moved to a city on my own before. And I have the same feeling now about my move back to London.

It feels right.

I have no idea what will unfold once I get there (though the rest of this year is scheduled down to the last hour, work-wise) but my gut tells me it will be okay. And that is all i have, really – my intuition. And a big ole handful of faith.

37 responses
  1. Amiable Peculiarities

    Wishing you wonderful things, as always. Jane x

  2. franni

    i, too, am returning to my ‘home’ town on the other side of the world after a 4 yr sojourn in the uk. it is slightly scary, exciting and yet feels so shockingly ‘right’ — like, for all i was trying to find, this is where i was heading all along.
    sending you hugs, smiles, and support for your move.

    a companion in ‘leaping’,
    f x

  3. susannah

    good luck with the move, love!! let’s hold hands and leap together x

  4. Francesca

    If it feels right, then it is, no question.
    I’m heading back to the UK myself in July. I don’t know how long I’ll be there for – I’ve planned as far as September and after that it’ll depend on if I can get work – I feel like all the possibilities, whether I stay in London or come back to Sydney, are scary and exciting and right.

    Good luck! It’s going to be great!

  5. Brigindo

    I believe bravery is taking each small step and wisdom is knowing when a step is right for you. Sounds like you have both going on.

  6. Mel

    It’s going to be ok. And once you’re settled I will journey down to teach you how to make croissants, because let’s face it once you know that you are pretty much sorted for life.

  7. Sally Veach

    I wish you the best of luck! It sounds like you have really “made it though”. Your struggles and many others (especially financially with these current times) has inspired me to create a painting series called “Holes”. I have family in San Francisco–it is a great city, with incredible natural spaces right nearby. London is also wonderful though! I wish you the best of luck in whatever future direction you turn. :-)

  8. Katherine

    Ohhh sooo exciting! I love seeing people jumping into possibility and trusting the process. I mean just look at all that happened after jumping into Bath! It’s all so very inspirational to those peeking in…and so fun to tag along virtually!

  9. bella

    I’m cheering you on, girl! If it feels right, leap baby. xo

  10. leonie

    and you have us. your awesome friends.

  11. doorways traveler

    and people who love you, too.
    your intuition is gorgeous. xx

  12. nic

    Very brave and insightful…I hope that now that you know you’re ready that you make it back home sooner rather than later.

    My take on London after only one visit there years ago was that my soul had come home. All my life I chased after British literature and history and culture, and then suddenly there it was all around me.

    All roads lead back to London.

  13. Ashley

    Moving is always a hard time, even if it doesn’t have so many memories and emotions tied to it. I wish you all the best in your move!

  14. kerri

    i wish you the best on your move back- i know you’ve come a very long way from when you left it-

  15. susannah

    yayyyyyyyyyyyy! mel’s croissants!

  16. Christine

    Well one of your unravellers lives in London (ME). If you ever want a friendly face to meet up for a cup of tea…let me know. :)

  17. susannah

    Thanks Christine :) I’m definitely going to be organising an Unravelling meet-up!

  18. angie

    Wishing you all the best….

  19. charlane

    you will do so beautifully – it does sound as though it is the perfect time for you. walk to the edge and fly! :)

  20. Karen/Chookooloonks

    Ah, London. How I miss it terribly. Kiss it for me, would you?

  21. MaryBeth

    And that is all i have, really – my intuition. And a big ole handful of faith.
    ah..the last life leap I made was catapulted with those 2 things and now, 8 years later, in retrospect, I can see it was the bravest and best move I have ever made in my life.
    I want to come to the meet up in > London!
    It is number 1
    on my wish list of places to visit
    Can you believe I am almost 50 and have never been out of my country?
    its embarrassing
    back to my piles of old pictures ….
    Sending sun & Love from the desert of Joshua Tree Ca.

  22. leslie

    and all of us….rooting for you….and loving you….and believing in your inspiring leaps of faith :)

    p.s. SF will still be here when you’re ready!

  23. emily

    can i just say that i feel proud to know you? (i mean, in the sense of knowing someone as we do through this crazy internet!)

  24. state of sunday

    good luck Susannah, you will do great!

  25. LaToya

    When you have your gut(intuition) & faith saying it’s ok to make the move, you can’t be wrong. Good Luck!

  26. Heather

    hooray for the leap! i could use one of those myself these days… wishing you all the good stuff.

  27. Catherine

    Best wishes for the next step on your path. I’ll miss your photos from Bath, it is a beautiful town, and has special meaning for me as I am researching the history of my ancestors from there – my mother’s paternal family originally from Freshford.

  28. sas

    and you have some rockin’ chiswickians there to hold your hand the whole way xxx

  29. Mariella

    Good luck Susannah!! London is beautiful indeed, just like you are, I wish you a great “coming back”..

  30. barbara

    BIG OLE TO YOU!!!!
    coming from a spaniard that will mean something….
    so happy for you!!!! everything is going to go so well….
    i´m happy you´ll move to one of my favourite cities…
    and hopefully i´ll be able to meet you soon as i´m sure i´ll visit london a few times this year!!!
    good moving

  31. Marthe

    I’m following my dream of living abroad in small baby steps, so I’m going to be living in London for 6 weeks this summer! Can’t wait! :)

    Also, I’m planning to live in my dream city (NYC) for three months next spring. Then, who knows what will happen?

    Good luck with moving, I’m sure you’ll be super fine! :)

  32. Whitnee Jenkins

    I am wishing you so much good luck for your future!! It’s an amazing feeling to take a big step in your life, on your own, and make it through it!! Love that feeling of accomplishment!

  33. Dawn Gettig

    Sweet honest post. good luck to you. I love your site it is inspiring.

  34. Angela Vular

    You are following your heart and that is the best thing to do. You are going to be fine and who knows what possibilities are waiting for you there? It’s going to be awesome. I always wanted to go to England….total Beatles fan…even had a penpal once upon a time. Oh and I am so thrilled finally after all these years (and I do mean YEARS) I am going to see Paul McCartney in August…..Yeah!!! George Harrison was my favorite but I am soooooo excited to see Paul. Have a stress free move and best of luck in London. Can’t wait to read about it and see all your fabulous photos.

  35. ASC

    Follow your heart. I just moved here as well. Your gut is always right!! Wishing you the best!

  36. Selma

    You gotta have faith. Our hearts usually know what they’re doing. I hope your move back to London turns out to be an extremely positive thing for you.

  37. holly

    oh wow, how wonderful for you susannah. i dream of living in london. where abouts are you moving too? x

Comments are closed.