It’s two o’clock in the afternoon and I should be sitting on a plane in Heathrow airport, about to depart for San Francisco.
But I am not. I am at home listening to the washing machine whirling on the spin cycle.
There was a delay in getting the visa i needed to teach my workshop at the Teahouse Studios next weekend, which means i can’t even enter the country while there is pending paperwork (so says the immigration people). So my flight (which can’t be changed or refunded)… the friends i was excited to see… the workshop I was excited to teach… none of it is happening.
Disappointed doesn’t really cover how I’m feeling right now. Letting down the souls who’d signed up for my class makes my heart ache.
I love visiting the USA and always feel very at home while i’m there. Running an online business means I don’t see the boundaries between countries any more and I love how global my Unravelling classes always are. So it’s quite a shock to be denied entry to a country that I feel so attached to; a country where so many of my friends live.
But there is something else running underneath the disappointment, a knowing that perhaps this is what I need right now. That the universe is telling me to slow down and stopping doing, that my profound tiredness of the last few months cannot be remedied with an international flight. Of course, I’d rather have got this message without the loss of an expensive plane ticket and the cancellation of a workshop I was looking forward to teaching, but I’m trying to let go of all that. Worse things could have happened.
So, as always, i’m opting to take this in my stride.
oh honey. i’m so sorry. skype soon, ok? i love you.
Well, as much as this must suck, I think you are right that you probably need a break and some slowing down. Take care
I am feeling blue as well, for entirely different reasons, but still. Blue is blue, isn’t it? Deep breath… and onward, indeed.
So sorry to hear this! The USA loves you too – if you need any help sneaking in over the fence from Mexico, I’m there for you.
SHITDAMN I was just carrying on assuming it would all work out and you would be here in a few days… I am so sorry Sus. Rest and perhaps treat yourself to a weekend away? We will see each other soon enough, somewhere delightful. <<>> for you, Les
Poor you, that’s really a shame! I admire the attitude you’re taking this with…!
I’m so sorry to hear that this happened to you. Reasons why it did happen will hopefully unfold as everything seems to work out in the end. I hope you can take the time to breathe and relax a little.
Oh Susannah, I’m so sorry to hear your trip won’t be happening. You’re doing the right thing though by taking it in your stride – everybody who knows you or was signed up for your class will know how disappointed you are. Take care and keep smiling :) x
Susannah another way of putting this is “the divine is slapping you in the ass right now” this is all positive as you have actually recognised it and that feeling of dissappointment will turn to renewed energy and who knows to greater things. One thing for certain you will have more grace and ease as a result.
So sit with it my love and know that so many people have you in their good thoughts too.
If it makes you feel any better just last week I had to give up on a class I was supposed to be doing – one that i had planned for almost 2 years but now that the mist has cleared I can see that the right time isn’t here yet for this and so many other things.
You know I read your blog often but am not very good at commenting but just felt the urge to do so here so hope I don’t sound too foolish!
sending over lots of virtual hugs and positive vibes!
well, that’s just crazy, and when it’s that crazy, you really do have to just listen and take a breath and just keep on moving forward. but still, it’s wrong you can’t get your plane ticket money reimbursed. more than wrong.
inhale . . . .
Oh honey. Hang in there, ok :)
Ay!! I feel for you, sweets. But your attitude = golden! I just cancelled my trip to Squam next week. It’s just not the right time for me.
New doors will open, I’m sure of it :)
Huh? Visa? To the USA? I’m shocked. I’m an American, living here in England, and I had no idea that you needed a visa to do a workshop over there, fer cryin’ out loud. But you are right to look at this as a huge call out from the universe to stop and rest. When I read your words, “profound tiredness” I thought that perhaps it is best for you to have a time out.
Oh , can imagine that is a huge disappointment for you – but admire the way you are managing to think about it in a positive way so quickly !
Wow. So sorry that had to happen. That’s a bummer. I’m sure the people who adore you enough to sign up for your workshop will understand.
Aha, an enforced break. Make the most of it and spend the time really looking after yourself. x
Messages are so much better when they don’t cost us a small bundle. Sorry about the class but do take care of yourself and enjoy a little leisure. <3
oh pooholes. i hope that you can be very kind to yourself and sit in the place of wisdom in the North and just be for now…(and eat and drink lots of good things too)
Oh, that sucks. But, you know, we don’t always get what we want, but rather, what we need …
As hard as it is to feel like you’re letting people down (and losing money to boot), sometimes these changes in plans can be a gift. I had something similar happen recently and it was very much for the best. I hope this unexpected time gives you what you need, and brings you back to yourself.
i’m missing you even more now as my heart was full of anticipation. but as you know, i’ll always be here for you when the time comes. xo
Sending loving hugs and blessings your way. Great attitude by the way. :) Keep your head up!
What a nuisance!! Sorry to hear about your visa and cancellation of flight and your classes. Hope you have a chance to rest and recharge and unwind. bee x
Despite the agony, really lovely lovely photo!
Wow. So many wonderful comments here. I second them all. I was so excited to be meeting you and working with you, but to be honest it wasn’t the best time for me either, so maybe another time it will be better for us both (and everyone else in the class, yeah, I’m big enough to let them all in on our timing) and it will happen then!
Until then, take a breather. The universe is most definitely telling you to sit down and breathe. Guess you have nothing to do but listen.
Take good care…
Oh love, that SUCKS. I’m so sorry, and hope that you can turn your forced home rest into something beautiful, a genuine treat for your hardworking, gorgeous self. Love you.
SO sorry to hear that, take care of yourself xox
I was thinking you’d be heading off soon, and was looking forward to hearing tales of your adventures and seeing some wonderful new photos. I’m so sorry your plans have had to be changed. But, well done you, in looking for, and finding, such a philosophical outlook to deal with all this – it’ll get you through it :-)
honey theres a reason they’re being very strict about letting people into the USA right now, its out of your control. Take heart that staying home is keeping you in a safer place for the moment x
I hopped on over here to see how your trip was going or went or whatever – and found this post. Oh no darling! Hope your “not doing” is proving to be wonderfully perfect.
Just saw this post, Sus, and I’m so sorry that this is happening. I do love your re-frame and trying to see that the Universe is somehow taking care of you even though feels so disappointing (and is a huge $$$ loss!). Sending your giant hugs. xoxo
Dear Susannah, You are a brilliant woman indeed–looking beneath the surface at the bigger picture. From one with personal experience, always honor and respect the messages, especially when they become distress signals, that your body sends you. Doing so, may avoid the development of some serious health issues. If you refuse to listen, be forewarned that at some future time and in some way, you will receive the message in such a way that you have no choice but to listen. Susannah, taking care of yourself benefits us as much as it does you. So relax and recharge those batteries. Blessings to you, frmr student, lydia
I want to move to San Fran sooooooo bad! Uber Sad Face!
OMG… I can so relate to your feelings about this. While it wasn’t visa problems, a hurricane kept me from getting to the yoga retreat I had desperately been awaiting for 4 months. I too knew the universe was speaking to me, and I didn’t like listening to it one damn bit. I’m still processing as I know I need a bit more distance to get perspective and understand fully.
I also understand the heart ache of “letting down” the folks who were enrolled. I’m sending you a big warm hug. It sucks… big time. You are loved Susannah by so many…