I felt really bruised this morning. A combination of bad dreams, snippets of memories that caught me off guard, the pressure of all I have to get done and just the general heaviness of grey January weather. It tooks me ages to get myself together. I had a to do list that wasn’t going to do itself but my mind was all over the place. Working at home is really great until you hit a day like this — unfocussed, over-emotional, racing heart, can’t settle, and no one is there to tell you to pull yourself together and just get on with it. No colleagues to moan to, no clients to put on a facade for. Just boring old me.
So I pulled on some going-outside clothes (as opposed to my usual working-from-home clothes which look remarkably like about-to-go-to-bed clothes), grabbed my notebooks and pens and forcibly shoved myself out into the world. It’s a ten-minute walk to my favourite cafe and I walked fast, the cold air trying to get inside my coat. There weren’t many people about and even the cafe was quiet. And that was perfect for me. I took over a table, spread out my tools and ordered a decaf mocha.
Somewhere between my first sip and leaving the cafe an hour later, I found my calm. With no internet (or laptop, for that matter) I was forced to do my brainstorming on paper. And as it always does, my energy shifted and brought some new clarity with it. You would have thought, after all these years of self-employment in one form or another, I would remember the tricks that get me back in the game. Going for a walk outside is the most obvious and basic, yet it’s the one I find so hard to do. “I don’t have time” falls from my lips as i stare into my monitor, hoping the words will arrange themselves. I don’t have kids to collect from school, or even a dog to walk, so I have no pressing reason to get up from my desk. Yet this one small activity — and a mocha in a cafe is hardly torture, is it? Sometimes i want to slap myself — made everything better. I let go of the bad dreams. The memories receded back into their hidely hole and grey sky didn’t look so bad once I was standing under it.
And the best thing? I managed to work through a block I’d had in the structure of my new course, and realised that it needs to be SIX weeks and not five. :)
Restart. Reset. Reboot. Works like a charm.