Sometimes I’m sitting here

Sometimes I'm sitting here |
Sometimes I’m sitting here writing or procrastinating or whatever it is i’m doing and a song will start playing that taps into all that’s churning in my heart and i can’t stop the tears from coming and i feel all that happened in the past and all that will happen in the future and everything that is here now and my empathy or projection or i don’t even know what it is but it just sweeps over me like a tidal wave and my face is wet with tears because i’m thinking about my nephew or my mum or lost love or that i didn’t walk my dog enough or that i just want to be kissed because what else is there but love and i just bloody feel so much even when i want to just get on with my work it’s sitting here in my heart this wanting this regret this hope this awareness of all of it all the time yet hidden but then the damn song starts playing and whooooosh it’s up in my head in my heart and now running down my cheeks as big fat tears.

45 responses
  1. Cristina | Positively Beauty

    I know the feeling…when it happens to me, I just allow it…and then let it go…
    Hug x

  2. Yvonne

    sigh. I feel your words. Big heartfelt hug to you. Take care of yourself today.


  3. Helen

    You have to have allllllooooottttttt of love in you for a song to get inside your head like this. Hang on to that love to see yourself through that precious moment. Sending you strength x

  4. Micala Duvoux

    My goodness, are you the most honest woman in the universe? Have a virtual hanky and a huge hug from me and let the tears flow. “Better out than in” as my Yorkshire grandad would say xxx

  5. patti scanlon

    Somewhere between the agony, the joy,the struggle, the hope, the prayer, It is all of us, It is what is meant to be human. Blessings.

  6. Barbara

    this happens to me, too. It´s weird, but for me this is as important as laughing hard. both moments are when I feel so alieve and mortal at the same time. send you hugs, Barbara

  7. Cecilia

    this is sort of how i felt when we randomly whipped out our “eternal sunshine of the spotless mind” soundtrack this weekend.

  8. Mariella

    I have been there. many times, so you’re not alone :)

  9. Zelde

    Nothing gets to the heart as much as music. Maybe it’s because it just gently guides us along instead of forcing us in one direction so we can still put our on spin on it. Somehow, music can go deeper.

  10. Anne

    And I thought it was only me!!

  11. Rachel Saldana

    oh i know this feeling exactly susannah. I think it’s a gift to feel things this fiercely. xo

  12. Nina

    I believe that feeling things so strongly is a blessing even though it doesn’t always feel that way. One of my favourite pieces of music is Saint-Saens’s Organ Symphony, because it seems to go through every emotion and then has the most wonderful life-affirming ending. It goes to some dark places but by the end of the symphony you’re weeping with joy instead of sadness.

  13. Stacy ~ Sweet Life Farm

    I loved and wish to second Patti’s wise comment!

    Thank you for this sharing, beautiful Susannah, blessed to be in touch with the richness of life!

  14. Jill

    In my practice, we refer to this as the “tender heart of sadness,” and understand it as what’s possible in the heart of a warrior, a brave warrior of goodness and love and wisdom, one willing to open their heart and touch in with the raw sadness that underlies it all, the joy and the pain. You are so lucky.

  15. Kate


  16. michelle gd

    sometimes it’s hard to have a heart that is so open and so full. hugs to you…

  17. Marthe

    You’re not alone <3

  18. Lola

    What song? Big hug for you!!!!
    Love your honesty :)

  19. jessamine

    I have no words of wisdom to offer. I can however sit with you (in the virtual world or maybe even the metaphysical one… ) and just be. Here’s to the gift just feeling and being.

  20. sherri

    I hear you … oh God, how I hear you…

  21. sara (sushi lover)

    I find it so beautiful and amazing. the power of it. i love it.

    when i was a teenager i would play some musics just to make me cry. it’s a beautiful feeling to be moved like that.

  22. jane/faerian

    and sometimes i am sitting here reading your blog and i am overcome by your goodness and the big ploppy tears come down here too… (((((Susannah))))

  23. Amy

    Omg! Sending huge hugs!!! I think our body overrides our mind at certain times so it can release all that we hold onto soooo hard! Let her rip… :)

  24. jools

    I send you a quiet smile. Even though it probably feels completely overwhelming when ALL! THOSE! FEELINGS! rush in and through you at once, I feel it also confirms your aliveness. You are capable of letting all those feelings in and through you and that is something precious, in this world where it´s become so mandatory to be in control and awfully evolved and self-improved.
    And a good cry – oh, it can feel so cathartic.

  25. Amanda Chea

    I had a moment like this yesterday. You’re not alone.

  26. An

    You’re not alone. Sometimes I love to be swept away like that, sometimes I don’t :) Amazing how music can have that power to leave us “defense-less” just like that. xo

  27. Amy

    I have many songs that do that to me – but True Colors by Cyndi Lauper is a Ringer every time…

  28. Debra

    Dude. Totally. In the car. I’m singing along and then I’m tearing up and then I’m crying. Hasn’t happened in the grocery store yet but it’s only a matter of time. I’m with Micala’s grandfather up above “Better out than in”. xo

  29. Ellen Bulterman

    You’re not alone. Sending huge hugs your way.

  30. {tinniegirl}

    oh yes, music is such a portal straight to the soul.

  31. Melissa Jaine

    and what is life if we don’t feel it – every painful, wonderous, joyful, magic moment of it.
    *big love*

  32. Chloe

    Oh my, I know the feeling! xx

  33. Suzanne

    Totally get it and I actually LOVE when
    That happens to me. It brings on such
    a POWERFUL feeling of knowing everything
    is OK. It happens to me in the car a lot…
    My kids are used to it ; )

  34. Stephanie

    This happens to me, a lot. On my way home from work…iPhone on shuffle…song comes on. Thoughts pop up. Tears start falling.

  35. Brook

    Wonderful post…this happens to me every time I see a sailboat…reminds me of my dad. Hugs to you.

  36. Anne Jutras

    Don’t despair,
    Happiness and love will be back,
    I’m sending you some love and a BIG HUG! xx

  37. Joyce

    I feel you, I really do.

  38. Katja

    i know that feeling. but how relieving to realise, later, that that feeling will come, yes, but it will also always pass.


  39. Judyboardmancollier

    Whenever those feelings of love lost when I was younger I was given two wonderful affirmations. What doesn’t happen in years, can happen in a day and I’m looking for the person who is looking for me……..and there he was My Wild Man.
    It works:-)

  40. susannah

    Very wise, Judy, thank you xo

  41. ellie

    yes, yes, yes and yes, and thank you, with all my heart.

  42. Foster

    You had a very nice post. You are so honest.

  43. Nicole

    just follow what you feel and everything will fall into the right place.

  44. Eilish Bouchier

    Susannah, beautiful post and I certainly have days like these. I have learned to just feel them and know they too will pass.

    Judy, I love these affirmations. May I borrow them?

    x Eilish

  45. Susanne

    Thank you for your touching one long run sentence post. I love it.

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