I’ve been reading through my archives with the intention of cutting out any deadwood and tidying up the photo sizes. Ten minutes in I realised this is a much bigger job than I’d first anticipated and will need to be done in short bursts (so my head doesn’t explode). Twelve minutes in I read this post from August 2007:
When there’s too much to be done, I tend to do nothing. I’ll have a to do list as long as my arm, and every evening more gets added, as tasks from the day are carried over to the next. I could provide an equally long list of things I can’t stand about myself, my lack of motivation being one of them.
As luck would have it, it’s about this time of the month when my hormones start to take over and my mood plummets, down into the cosy basket of the black dog – you could set your watch to my cycle it’s so regular. But this week I’m fighting back, this week I’m trying something new. Enough with the to do lists and procrastinating and excuses. Enough with the fear of failure.
I’ve made a deal with myself – I will do either one thing, or work for one hour, towards my dream, every day. That’s it. Just one thing or one hour. The idea is to break through the fear, push past the inertia and overwhelm, and do something, anything, that takes me one tiny step closer to what I want. The rest of the day I can lie on the sofa if I want to (which obviously I wouldn’t do) so long as I do my one thing.
I started this cunning plan at the weekend, and I’m pleased to report that so far it’s working really well. I can’t do everything; I can’t create what I want in a day. But I can do one thing (one thing which morphed into several things today before I even realised what I was doing). I’m also noting down what I do each day in my journal at night, to make the point to my subconscious that it IS possible to do things and move forward, and not slide down into the ‘I’m not good enough, so why bother’ crap that my mind spews out so easily. I’ve had thirty-four years of this fear and it hasn’t worked, so now I’m trying something new.
Back to 2012 where I am sadly no longer 34 years-old *ahem* ::
I’m sharing this post again because I realised it’s proof that if you chip away at your dream, you really can make it happen. Which sounds so bloody obvious, I know, but when you’re right at the beginning, or stuck in the quagmire of doubt, it’s hard to have any faith. So very hard to trust in the process. Back in 2007 i started chipping away at my dream and did, in fact, make some of it happen. So if that’s the case, maybe if I keep chipping away at my new dreams for London and beyond, I can make those happen too.
One thing at a time.
This is also another example of the blog-as-time-machine thing. Thirty-four year-old me wrote this message I needed to hear today. Amazing.
What one thing could you do today towards your dreams? Share it in the comments below if you’re feeling inspired!