On the phone the other day my sister told me about a conversation she’d had with Noah in the car. She’d told him that she loved him, and he’d looked at her and said, ‘no, Mummy, you love Daddy.’

‘That’s true,’ my sister said, ‘but I love you too. Do you love Mummy?’

‘I love Susie,’ said Noah. ‘Susie loves me as big as the sky.’

Which is what I’d told him the weekend before — several times, in fact — in-between kissing his face, and dancing, and letting him play with my make-up. And playing trains…. and watching Tangled…. and making some cooking.

I keep thinking about this sweet little exchange. I love that Noah thinks about me when I’m not there. I love that I am a part of his small reality. I love that he doesn’t forget me. These are the things that keep me going on the days I want to give up.

And now he is three. He still says ‘fallah’ instead of flower, and we hope he never stops. He says actually all the time, but it’s “atch-a-len”. He likes us to chase him around the kitchen on his scooter — “let’s go quickly fast!” he says. And we try… we try.

Being his auntie has brought me more joy than I could have ever imagined. I remember watching him come into this world. His mummy was so brave in those last hours — in all the hours. I knew that watching my sister give birth would mean something special, but i had no idea that it was Noah she was giving birth to. The funniest, cutest, sweetest little boy who has stolen all our hearts and made this world a better place to live in. I love him more today than I did yesterday, and will love him even more tomorrow.

And now this auntie needs to have a little cry.

I love you, baba. As big as the sky.


34 responses
  1. Marjory

    “As big as the sky.” Wow. So beautiful. Thanks for sharing this beauty Susannah.

  2. Roxanne

    Happy birthday to Noah. Hard to believe he’s already three! Children have a way of stealing our hearts, don’t they?


  3. Sherry Smyth

    There is nothing quite as special as a child remembering that you love them and that they love you — as big as the sky. All those “little” things add up to so much. And every child needs an auntie in their life…my boys were blessed with my sister and when you talk about Noah it always makes me smile as I remember how she felt about them, and they felt about her. And they still remember her, even 13 years after she left us. So much love!! xo

  4. sarah

    Your relationship with Noah is always going to be special. I’ve always had a close relationship with my mother’s sister, and I love having a special bond with my nephew (now almost 7!!). I love that he feels like he can crawl into my lap for a cuddle anytime he wants, that he feels safe and at home with me. We aunties are so lucky!

  5. Carla white

    If only every child could be so lucky to have such a loving aunt in their life. The world would be a different place, that’s for sure. Here’s to your adorable little heart breaker!

  6. Cora

    A child’s unconditional love is so heartwarming. this brought a tear to my eye too! Enjoy your sweet little nephew…he shares his name with my 10 yr old son. :)

  7. Lainey

    My 5 year old says ‘actually’ all the time too! His sounds like ‘akchee’. What a wonderful gift you are to your nephew!

  8. sherri

    I know exactly how you feel. I have one niece and two nephews. The youngest guy is 8 and he is special needs. Easter afternoon he grabbed me by my face, kissed both of my eyelids, my nose, my chin and my forehead and then just grinned at me. Sooooo cute I can’t stand it. The even funnier part is, because he is special needs, they are the sloppiest wettest kisses that only an aunt (or Mom) could love!!!! I love your “Big as the sky”. Ours is “I love you to the moon and back”. Being an Aunt is awesome!!!!

  9. SweetMarie83

    This made me cry like a baby! I remember when I ‘met’ you about a year ago and I thought it was so funny that you had a 2-year-old nephew because I did too (and a then-9-year-old nephew Noah, who Logan called – and still calls – ‘Woah’ instead of Noah). Through your pictures and stories over the last year I feel like I’ve had a chance to watch Noah grow up, and I love that. Like you, my nephews mean everything to me. I obviously love them equally but I got to see Logan be born and I have a really strong bond with him. I love that he never wants to leave here and that every time he and his mum get in the car, he wants to come here. And no matter how much I see him, my heart breaks a little every time I have to send him home. We’re very blessed to have such amazing little people who love us so much. :-)

  10. Anne-Marie

    Happy birthday, Noah. Dutch tradition has us saying “Happiness and congratulations on this special day” to the parents and family members. Shout out to Noah’s special auntie.

  11. Bella

    oh, c’mon! he is just the cutest little man!
    cannot believe he’s 3.


    What a Beautifully Written Post!

  13. Janice

    a very beautiful memory, and story. My beautiful little girls are all grown up now, I miss the playtime, and hugs, so you almost sent me to a little cry! tears of joy for you!
    hugs janice

  14. julie

    beautiful…and happy birthday noah!

  15. Ashley

    What a lucky boy. The love you give and show him is beautiful. Children are such real vulnerable souls. I love this post.

  16. jane

    made me bloody bawl

  17. Sherold Barr

    Ahh – this is such a gorgeous post. I love this so much. I could feel my heart bursting with the love of a child and the sweetness of Noah’s age. I love your photos and how you are writing short snippets in between. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story.

  18. Sheila Bergquist

    Awwww…what can I say? Melts my heart. Beautiful pictures and I love the one with what I think is a penguin…the way he has his foot crossed over…what a pose! Such a cutie! Thanks for sharing with us.

  19. amelia Critchlow

    aw – you sound like the perfect auntie :) Stunning pictures as always and good luck with your future projects and thanks for being in touch.


  20. Sherri B.

    Oh Gosh…this made me cry and my heart felt all warm and fuzzy. What a lovely post, and what a beautiful little boy. How lucky you both are to have each other.

  21. Brooke

    I know what you mean: I kind of wish I could go back 10 months to when Cedar was born, for I didn’t know it was Cedar who I had just birthed! I’d love to see him and know him as I know him now, back then. But we don’t get to rewind. It is amazing how we love them more each day than the last. The love is so big it just takes us.

    Noah is so incredible. I can’t believe he is already so big. That children grow up is one of the most gorgeous and bittersweet things ever.


  22. Vero Palazzo

    Sooo beautiful!

  23. michelle gd

    your love for your sweet nephew is just amazing. palpable.
    and three already?!

  24. Christine Pike

    how beautiful.. thanks for sharing this sweetness xx

  25. Debbie

    Tears in my eyes. Your deep love for Noah shines through in all you do, Auntie. I have enjoyed watching your little nephew grow and can’t believe he is three!

  26. Katherine

    Lump in throat… sob, sob, sob. Beautiful words about a beautiful boy and his auntie.

  27. La plume et la page

    Your nephew is so lovely! A beautiful little boy.

  28. GeRri

    Happy Birthday to your Noah!! xxO

  29. stacy

    So beautiful. Mia turns three on Thursday. Noah is so blessed to have you as his aunt. xo

  30. Katherne

    Aww, you made me tear up with this one…so so so sweet!!!

  31. Stacey

    I almost want to wake my girls up to tell them that I love them ‘as big as the sky.’ What a wonderful thing to say! And what amazing pictures of Noah.

  32. Rhianne

    But he was only just two – are you sure? That year flew by :)

    But oh how I love this post :)

  33. Kathryn

    wow, three years is such a huge amount of time but also so small. hope he had a great day. :)

  34. Fenne

    That’s so sweet :-)
    And that first picture is so beautiful. Not only light and colors, but the joy, the life, …

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